A Playground Hero
I was seven years old when I decided to approach the most popular boy in the class.
In many ways he was my hero. Whilst other boys dreamt of being the Lone Ranger, Robin Hood or Jesus, my daily prayer was much nearer home: “Dear God, make me like Roger Lewis.”
Roger was tall, good-looking and clever. It was Roger who everybody wanted on their team. It was Roger who the girls wanted to kiss, Roger who always broke the tape first, and Roger who came top in the tests. In some ways it seemed so unfair. Roger had got the lot.
Rejecting Parsnips!
As I watched him from across the playground my heart was pounding. He stood holding court and, as ever, surrounded by admirers. I agonised as to whether to go through with my plan. Finally, taking a deep breath, I walked across to him. His groupies looked surprised to see me, but even they sensed that something significant was about to happen and parted to let me through. I felt myself redden and then suddenly blurted out the question I had been practising in front of a mirror all the previous weekend: “Roger, do you want to be my best friend?”
I don’t think he heard me at first and I repeated my question - although quieter than last time. “Do you want to be my best friend?” This time Roger heard, but I soon wished he hadn’t because he started to laugh and then those around him joined in until they were all holding their sides. I had a nickname at school and soon a cry was echoing around the playground of Roath Park Juniors: “Who’d want Parsnips as a best friend! Who’d want Parsnips as a best friend!”
Taking the masks off
It is hardly news that we need others, but what may be more surprising is that almost all of the researchers agree that if we are to experience deep friendships, there is one ingredient that is more important than all the others. It is vulnerability. People who make deep and lasting friendships may be young or old, introverts or extroverts, but they have got used to taking the masks off – they allow others to see into their hearts.
I have discovered that the very vulnerability the small boy showed in the playground was not something to be discarded as an adult but cherished.
Written by Rob Parsons. Posted on 26th October.
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