Speaking out: Children of single parents
It’s easy to find statistics and scare stories about what the future holds for children of single parents.
If you look around, you'll find many children of single parents who prove that statistics only tell half the story.
Take the reigning World Snooker Champion, Shaun Murphy, for example. He was only 22 when he won a major title, and he grew up in a single parent family. "When I was 14, I came home from a cycle ride one morning to find my mum had gone," Shaun remembers. "I felt my world had turned upside down. I would never have imagined her walking away from us."
Anger and frustration
Shaun was so hurt that he didn't speak to his mother for six years. He became very close to his father as they helped each other through the pain. His father took him to snooker tournaments and believed he could succeed. Shaun knows he wouldn't have achieved so much without his father's support.
In time, Shaun realised he couldn't move forward until he forgave his mother. "It took time and wasn't easy, but I wish I had been able to do it sooner," he says. "Life really is too short to hold a grudge."
Shaun doesn't believe that people whose parents have split up are bound to split up themselves: "We all have our own path to follow. Just because it didn't work out for your parents doesn't mean it won't work for you."
Learning to forgive
To anyone growing up in a single parent household, he says: "Be a part of both parents' lives if possible, even though you are hurting. Try to live a balanced life and learn to forgive. Remember, you can make something of your life!"
Not everyone has reached the heights of Shaun Murphy, but another 22-year-old agrees that being brought up by a single parent has not ruined her life.
Sarah graduated with a 2:1 degree, has many friends, and is secure and happy. "I've achieved a lot of my ambitions and I feel my life's heading in a positive direction," says Sarah.
Good relationship
"I think there are many reasons why some people go off the rails, not just because they've been brought up by one parent," she goes on. "There's poor housing, for example, or getting in with a bad crowd, or having poor role models. It's how you're brought up that's important, whether you have one parent or two. It's the quality of the parenting, not the quantity. Mum and I have a very good relationship. And, after my dad left, she had more time and energy to pay to me, so I benefited from that."
Posted on 2nd November.
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Furl itPosted 02.11.07
