The pain of infertility
One woman shares from personal experience about the pain of infertility...
“There is a problem here. There’s a good chance you will have difficulty having children.”
At the doctor’s words my heart sank to the pit of my stomach, fear gripped me and tears started to well up. It seemed so ironic that, in my teens, I was not sure about wanting children! Now that I really did, it might not happen.
I decided I wouldn’t tell anyone unless they wanted the information. I didn’t want to be another piece of ‘news’ on the grapevine.
Grief is real
Not many people give me credit for experiencing grief. How can you grieve for something you’ve never had? I am grieving for lost hopes and dreams. My grief is cyclical on a monthly basis - not surprisingly! Calendars and counting become a way of life!
Isolation and pain
No-one invites me to shower parties any more. The word is out! Easier for them not to, than to hear me say, I won’t be coming. Interestingly, my feelings of isolation and reticence around them in other situations has also increased.
I really welcome people who are brave enough to ask me how it’s going. I have a handful of friends who will. They are brave because they don’t know if they’ll have me in floods of tears or not.
Pregnancy announcements are hard. A good friend who was pregnant told me first and then wrote me a lovely letter expressing her sadness at my situation and her hopes and prayers for me. That was really appreciated.
At times it is difficult for me to feel excited at future plans - they just don’t seem as important as having a child.
If you are affected by this issue and would like further help, please visit useful links for more information. You can also find support and information on infertility at Care for the Famiy's Support Net papers here
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