Love is... a decision
Forget the fairy tales... how does this love thing actually work?
Marital Bliss?
“I thought it would last forever” is the heart-cry of so many people where the channels of love, affection and reassurance have been blocked. Part of the problem is our expectation that relationships should last forever - without any effort. We’ve all been brought up on the magic of the movies – where Prince Charming whisks his bride away over the horizon into marital bliss.
Losing Touch
So, why do we sometimes feel anxious and apprehensive about letting someone - even our husband or wife - get close? Feelings of closeness come and go in any relationship, but in the busy-ness of married life, with its changing stresses and strains, it’s easy to lose touch with one another.
Over-investment in work, in the children, or in social commitments can all result in that closeness seeping away without us noticing. Unresolved tensions, the ‘baggage’ of different expectations, misunderstandings and fear of rejection can all act as wedges to drive us apart.
Work At It
Marriage and relationships need to be worked at. Don’t wait until you’re not talking before you make family relationships a priority. Love is a decision - a choice - not a feeling. You can stay ‘in love’ with that kind of love because it doesn’t depend on feelings.
Don’t insist on being understood, accepted and cared for - make the first move yourself. Make it your goal to FIRST understand your marriage partner’s point of view, to accept, encourage and care for them on a day-to-day basis.
Try it. It works.
Posted on 13th November.
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Furl itPosted 13.11.07
