Bad boys and good girls
...thoughts of a 20-something.
Have you ever wondered what it is that girls find so ridiculously appealing about bad boys?
Why, when they treat them like rubbish and are totally untrustworthy, do girls still chose a bad boy over a good boy?
I’ve recently given this much thought.
I am of that age where bad behaviour should be a thing of the past.
I feel that I am expected to act in a certain dignified and respectable manner.
However, this just makes me want to rebel more.
Time to settle down
It’s as if you wake up one morning to find yourself on a conveyer belt. They bolt on a block of responsibility here, and a lick of shiny ‘settle down’ paint there. Everyone in front of you appears to be stretching forward to try to hurry up the process, and right at the end you can just make out the house, the car and two point whatever kids.
No. Thank. You.
I’m stretching too, not ahead of me, but to the sides, to dig my nails into the wall to slow this thing down while I look for a way to jump off. And there he is: my knight in shining armour with a fag in his mouth, offering a get-out. A convenient road block.
This bad boy acts in all the ways I have trained myself not to act. He says what he likes, does what he likes, and gets what he wants. He is unreliable, unpredictable, and best of all uncontrollable.
This provides two answers to my aforesaid predicament:
- When I compare myself to Mr Wrong, I come off rather well. I can afford to let my standards slip just a little because I will still seem, in his eyes at least, as though I am a ‘natural born angel’. I can be a little slack, and when borrowing his eyes, I will seem like a do-gooder, an activist, a saint. However, were I to do the same things and look at myself through a good boy's eyes, I’m afraid the story would be somewhat altered.
- Since my bad boy allows himself to do all the naughty things that I convince people I’m above, I can allow him to lead me a little astray. Then, instead of rebuking me, people will pity me, and blame him instead. I still come off looking like a good girl who naively got entangled with this reprobate.
Another thing that comes into play is my ego. I want to be this amazing girl who saves the bad boy from himself, who looks after him when he’s done something dangerous. I want to be the one who manages to tame him just a little, who inspires him to give up some of his bad behaviours for me. He’d be capable of cheating, but would never cheat simply because he is with me.
Mr. Nice Guy
When a bad boy likes you, he lets you know. When a good boy likes you, he politely enquires, without wanting to seem rude, almost apologetically, that he might possibly be interested. There’s no urgency. There’s no passion. I’m convinced he can live without me.
And finally, bad boys are inherently more dangerous than safe nice guys. I want a man who is more of a man than me, more adventurous, more risky. I don’t want someone who is more innocent and more broody than me. I don’t want someone who wants to tame me, who thinks I am rebellious. I will be the one doing the leading astray in this case, and I don’t want to be blamed for ruining someone else.
I want the bad boy. But maybe what I want isn't what I need.
Written by Annabel Goodden. Posted on 11th December.
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Author Annabel Goodden
Posted 11.12.07
