Rules of engagement
A strong marriage needs strong foundations. Building those foundations will take time and effort, but the result will be marriages that stand the test of time and survive external pressures.
Building a friendship
Friendship will continue to grow when the initial feeling of ‘falling in love’ has died. Building a friendship involves spending time together.
Take a moment: Think back over the length of time you have known each other. Each list five things that you enjoy doing together, e.g. going to the cinema, having a meal together, walking...
Talk about how you can keep building your friendship when you have been married for 5, 10, 15 years.
Time together
When you are engaged or newly married, you probably need no encouragement to spend time together. One of the tasks is learning to balance time - time together and time apart. Both are needed. Time apart can cause us to value and appreciate the time we have together, so neither partner feels ‘smothered’. Talk honestly together about how to achieve the right balance in your relationship.
Take a moment: Think about how you can prioritise your time together.
Recognising your differences
We are all different. One of the challenges of marriage is to learn to work together to manage differences creatively. Far from being a negative force, differences can complement each other and strengthen a marriage.
Take a moment: Talk together about one or two new things you have discovered about each other.
Wedding Myths
- You can have a perfect wedding
Settle for a wonderful wedding involving imperfect people. - Your wedding day is for you and your fiancé
This is your special day, but it is also an important day for the families. Recognise this and involve them in the arrangements, and you will reap the benefits in the long term. - The wedding industry has only your interests at heart
Be aware that the wedding business is what it says - a business. - Planning a wedding is glamorous and stress free
If you plan carefully and stick to your budget, planning a wedding can be fun. However, it is hard work and there will be times when you have a difference of opinion. Be realistic about what can be achieved. - You have to spend a fortune to have a fantastic wedding
You can have a fantastic wedding on a limited budget. Be resourceful and use your common sense and initiative.
Adapted from 'Rules of Engagement' by Katharine and Richard Hill.
Written by Katharine and Richard Hill. Posted on 13th December.
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Author Katharine and Richard Hill
Posted 13.12.07
