5 Myths about marriage
Whether through parents, friends or the media, we’ve all heard the rumours about marriage. The problem is - we’ve no way of finding out if they’ll be true for us until we actually get there ourselves!
After a humbling first year of marriage, I certainly don’t think I’ve got it all sorted… but here are some of the myths I want to bust for you.
1. Your wedding day will be the happiest, most amazing day of your life.
Ok, so for some maybe it is. I certainly enjoyed myself immensely on my wedding day but some things went wrong. And looking back now I wish I had done some things differently (particularly where guest lists are concerned - what a political minefield!)
So don’t put so much pressure on the day itself – as my Dad told me the night before my wedding, “As long as you end up married, the day has fulfilled its purpose.”
2. You’ll never have problems again.
I’m quite ashamed to admit I believed this one too! Now I wish I could go back in time and slap some sense into the unmarried me – the person who believed all her married friends would be just fine through anything. Because now, when I talk to my unmarried friends about my concerns – be it as trivial as noisy neighbours or as scary as mounting debts - the inevitable response is “Yes, but you’re married.”
While it is amazing to have a constant companion to talk things through with, marriage isn’t a magic wand that waves away your problems.
3. You’ll never be lonely again.
This year I have found out the hard way that it is possible to be lonely when you are married. My closest friends from back home are single and sometimes seem to think I don’t need them anymore, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I still need friends – and not just ones who are one half of a couple, honest!
4. Sex is wonderful / boring / awful / mind-blowing / weird / routine.
Delete as applicable! We all hear different rumours about what sex is like in a marriage...whether we’ve slept with our partner before or not.
What I’ve discovered is that nobody can tell you exactly what it will be like for you and far too much pressure is placed on the whole issue anyway. Keep communicating honestly with your partner and try not to compare your experience with that of others.
5. When you get married, you become boring.
In my experience, this is the biggest myth of them all. A lot of people in their twenties think marriage is old-fashioned and pointless but since getting married, I feel more alive and more adventurous than I’ve ever done. I laugh a lot more, I feel more comfortable in my skin, and I just love travelling to new places and experiencing new things with my husband – definitely far from boring!
Check out this fantastic new website: www.prepareformarriage.org.uk
Written by Bel Rees. Posted on 9th January.
Digg it
Reddit
Delicious
Stumble It!
Furl it
