Status Symbols
Daisy Doonan reckons that relationships are just too messy for Facebook's drop down menu.
"I really love you baby."
"You too baby. In fact, I think I'm ready to take the next step."
"Really, are you sure?"
"Well, only if you're sure. I don't want to pressure you but I think I'm ready."
"Ok, let's do it. Let's change our relationship status on Facebook..."
Come on, admit it, you've had a version of that conversation. Ok ok, if you're married, engaged, in a really serious relationship or very definitely single then you might not have, but don't try and pretend you don't know what I mean.
'It's true, I saw it on Facebook'
Facebook is scarily public, and for that reason people seem to be exercising extreme caution when it comes to going public. Two of my friends had been going out for months and months before they finally admitted to being 'in a relationship'. I can see why.
No-one really wants their tentative, shaky, still-working-out-who-likes-each other-more partnership broadcast to the masses. You just sort of hope that it will just drift into people's consciouses without you ever having to answer any awkward questions about it.
With Facebook, we're not afforded the luxury of subtlety, and this affects everything.
It's complicated...
All the messy stuff for example - the stages between 'single' and 'in a really solid relationship' - are just not definable in three simple terms.
For a start, you need two 'single options': 1) single - content; and 2) single - pining for a soulmate. You'd probably need a function which allowed you to change it every half hour as well.
My love life is not that interesting. But if I was going to be really, really honest about just the last six months I would need Facebook drop down options which included 'has inappropriate crush on smarmy womaniser', 'keep looking at people on the tube and wondering if they are my future husband', 'nearly got coerced into kissing a girl by gay friend' and, most recently, 'about to go on a date with someone I'm not sure I fancy so am over-analysing all our conversations to compensate'.
Now if that little lot doesn't qualify for 'it's complicated', then I don't know what does.
Got any Facebook stories to tell? Head to the forum...
Written by Daisy Doonan. Posted on 31st January.
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