7 Myths about sex
With magazine headlines like 'Your orgasm - guaranteed', it's easy to get a distorted idea of what sex is all about.
But what about real life sex in real life relationships?
My partner should realise what I like in bed and know how to do it.
Yes – about the same as s/he should know exactly what you’d love for dinner that night or what you’re thinking while driving in the car! Most of us realise this is nonsense, yet if we do not discuss sexual preferences and desires and dislikes, we won’t move forward sexually.
Men are always desperate for it
Not necessarily. Research is increasingly showing that many women, who are keen in the bedroom and excited about sex, may be faced with a husband who has little or waning interest. There could be physical or psychological reasons behind this. If that describes your situation, take heart – you are not alone. Seek counselling or help from your GP. Be encouraged that the situation CAN and will improve.
The honeymoon stage is over by the end of the first year, and sex will only go downhill from there.
Absolute nonsense! That’s entirely up to you. You get out of sex what you put in. Don’t leave it ‘till last thing at night when you’re exhausted. It’s been my observation (backed up by most marriage authors) that it gets continually better as we think about it, and practise more (like any sport really!) My husband has commented more than once that he would never have guessed that it could get this good after so many years of marriage.
It has to be hot and sizzling every time or there’s no point doing it.
Er – I don’t think so. Welcome to planet earth – where people get sick, kids wake up and hormones run wild. It won’t be great every time, but if you play more often, chances are, at least some of those sessions will be sizzling. If you’re only together once a month, and that one time is rather disappointing, is it any wonder that one of you may be put off the idea of sex next time? Make it a priority to make sex a priority in your marriage.
We should have sex when we feel like it…
No, no, no, no, no, …Imagine someone saying: “I should love my partner when I feel like it!” You wouldn’t find that acceptable would you? If you always wait till both of you are in the mood, you may well find that that hardly ever occurs. This can only lead to a downward spiral, which could possibly affect every other area of your marriage. Instead, seek to please your spouse more often – you’ll be surprised at how this will often end up pleasuring you, too.
Sex should be spontaneous
It doesn’t have to be. Ever thought of planning a lovemaking session for a specific time and date (e.g. lunch break or an evening when the kids out for tea at friends?) This can be fast and frantic, and incredibly hot! Try it sometime.
Sex is easy
True – but good sex takes some real effort.
Written by Annie Carter. Posted on 19th February.
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