Which sibling are you?
Does the order you pop out affect your personality?
When you think about the influences that have shaped people around you, do you ever think about what number child they were? When this idea was first suggested to me by a respected psychologist, I thought it was a little far fetched.
But ever since the seed was planted I can’t help trying to guess peoples positions within the family. Here’s the basic idea…
Family Hero
Even the most prepared couple, with lists of girls’ names in pink and boys’ names in blue, won’t ever be ready for the total destruction and chaos a child brings. The first child can sense that it has come at an inconvenient time and tries to come to the rescue, to fix things. They portray themselves as visibly successful and very responsible. They are the over achievers, the good kids in school, little mothers or little men. What a huge weight to bear! I imagine they might harbour subconscious feelings of guilt for not being able to fix things and anger at being asked to.
The untraditional one
Perhaps the middle child feels abandoned, forgotten; their older sibling gets all the responsibility, their younger siblings all the positive attention and treats. How could they possibly compete with their older, super-achieving sibling? The logical route is to appear to not try at all. They want to seem different, not to resemble anyone else.
They forge a role to meet their family’s needs: someone to blame their problems on. Scapegoats are the ones that give off an appearance of complete strength and confidence, telling people “it’s ok to blame your problems on me.” However, underneath they may have a low self worth, semi-believing they are to blame, comparing themselves to others.
Lost child
This is another potential route for the middle child. They perceive that the family has too many other things to worry about to be attending to them and their needs. It’s safer and easier to hide away - at least they won’t add to the issues. They are withdrawn, loners, day dreamers. They may feel lonely and defeated, hurt and angry. They tend to be the shy ones, very independent, not needing anything from anyone; after all, no one has anything to offer.
Mascot
And finally, the youngest child. At this point everything else has been tried, and siblings appear to be grown up and serious. Clearly the best thing to do when things get tense is to clown around, be the jester. These guys and gals always have the best parties. They tend to have a short attention spans and may be a little immature, needing protection. They often have feelings of fear and insecurity.
Pairing up
I was horrified at the suggestion that your position within the family could influence who you marry! But actually, it makes sense if you think about it. A mascot wants protecting and a hero wants to be responsible. Ahhh, l’amour. And of course, no-one could understand an untraditional child better than another untraditional child.
It really does amaze me how often people fit into these categories. Check it out.
Written by Annabel Goodden. Posted on 12th March.
Digg it
Reddit
Delicious
Stumble It!
Furl it
