Effective tips for discipline
Discipline isn't about punishing your child, but creating effective solutions that help teach them good behavioural tactics at home and in social situations. Unfortunately there are no solid solutions that will magically eradicate naughty behaviour, but there are a few 'tried and tested' techniques you can use to help calm your child and help them understand the consequences of their actions... courtesy of Netmums.com.
Time Out
You'd had to have been living in a cave for the past few years to have missed the whole phenomena that is 'the naughty step', or as some prefer to label it now, the 'time out area'. Better still is to name it the 'thinking step'. After all what you really want them to do is to think about what they have done wrong, how they can make amends and what they should do instead. Many parents are split on whether this technique actually works but it has shown to be a rather effective tool at calming children down and helping them to reflect on their behaviour.
When your child behaves in a way that is unacceptable, you simply remove them from the situation and give them time out (as a general guide, use 1 minute for each year of their age). When they are calm, ask them to tell you what they did, what they were thinking or feeling when they did it, and what they could do next time. With a young child you will need to tell them, for example, "I know you were angry that Jane took your car, but you mustn't hit, it hurts". Ask for an apology afterwards and if their bad behaviour involved another child, ask them to apologise to them too.
Sticking to routines
Some children thrive on routine and like the comforting feeling of knowing what to expect next. Many families find sticking to a routine helps keep tantrums to a minimum - especially around bed-time when tiredness is at a peak. To avoid any bed-time brawls, keep half an hour aside to engage in 'calming' activities that will help settle your child for bed. It also helps to engage in a little positive banter, such as 'you've been a very good girl today, I'm going to be very proud of you when you've cleaned your teeth and got into bed'.
Substitutions/compromises
Directing their attention elsewhere is an effective way of steering clear of bad behaviour. If they want to jump on the couch for example, you could calmly but firmly tell them that it's dangerous so why not jump on the floor instead?
Preparation
Springing news on your child is almost always going to entice some sort of reaction but by preparing them, you're giving them the heads up on what's going to come next and helping them to feel included. 'Ok, three more slides and we must leave the park to go home' or 'let's take five more minutes to finish our milk and then we're going to read a story' are just a couple of examples.
Distraction
This works especially well for young children. If they keep going back to post things in the DVD player, try to distract them with something more interesting.
Create opportunities for choice
Giving your child a choice can help give them a sense of control and direct their thoughts elsewhere. If they hate bath-time, perhaps you could try asking if they want bubbles or the stackable cups in the bath? If it's mealtimes that are the problem, show them the plate cupboard and let them pick out their favourite dinner plate and cup. As silly as these suggestions sound they can be surprisingly effective so it's worth giving them a shot.
Used with permission from www.netmums.co.uk
Rob Parsons reminds us to have some fun
Written by Netmums. Posted on 29th September.
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