I'm new at this parenting thing
If you’re thinking about having children, you’re pregnant, or you’re finding yourself adjusting to life with a new baby, you’ll agree that the concept of parenthood is quite overwhelming. New mum, Fiona Michael, shares her story from five months down the line.
I am typing quietly. Our five month old daughter has just settled down to sleep (hopefully). She grabbed forty winks, and has been awake and crying ever since. In the end we sat on the bed with her and gave her some attention. Then she looked sleepy so we put her into her bed. After two cries all was calm. I think this time she really has gone to sleep.
If I was a 'more experienced' mother – i.e. if this one was not our first child – I would undoubtedly have some formula or other to get her off to sleep. Or perhaps she'd be so exhausted from watching our other children all day that she'd drop off in her car seat anywhere and everywhere like I've seen other babies do. Perhaps the crying wouldn't bother me as I'd have other children to attend to in the evenings. Perhaps she wouldn't cry.
But I am not an experienced mother. And my husband is not an experienced father. And we do not have an experienced baby. All three of us are learning. Five months ago our world changed when our daughter was born. Every day is a new experience for all of us. And it's great.
She feeds well, she usually sleeps well and is in a good routine. Most of all she's healthy. There have been times over the past few months when I haven't known what she's wanted. My husband, in a valiant attempt to calm us both has made some helpful suggestion to which I've informed him he knows nothing and should therefore keep out. Then I complain that he doesn't help. Poor man. I once was a woman in control. A few times since she was born I have felt decidedly out of control. But to my surprise, most of the time I do know what she wants because it's either food, sleep, a clean nappy or a cuddle.
I had expectations of the first 6 months being horrendous because all my friends (now on 3rd child and making it look so easy) had told me how difficult, boring, tiring a baby is. They were right in part. But hey – they went on to have more so it can't have been that bad!
You see, there is no job description for a parent. There is no blue print. Just because someone's baby was breast fed till they were 12 months does not mean that mine has to be. Just because Gina Forbes' methods worked for another does not mean that they will work for mine. Just because I expected to have sleepless nights does not mean they are going to happen (we've been really lucky in that respect – but you may not be so!)
Perhaps, after all, it's better not to have any expectations and just take every moment as it comes. And listen to advice but don't adhere to it (unless of course it's medical). And communicate, and accept help, and enjoy being a parent. That's what I'm going to do - but I'll have to start tomorrow as I'm too tired tonight after all that crying..!
PS she's definitely asleep!
Written by Fiona Michael.
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