Glue for a long-lasting marriage
As a recent newly-wed, I’ve had bucketfuls of advice. Some of this came from friends who are older, and have been married for many years. Judging by the strength of their relationships, 30 or 40 or 50 years down the line, I’m inclined to listen carefully.
Here’s a selection of those ‘pearls of wisdom’. Who knows, they might just help you stick together.
“A healthy marriage is one where ideally there is openness and honesty, trust is worked on over the years, where hurts are not held on to and forgiveness really does mean letting go.”
“Communication means listening and really understanding what the other person is saying.”
“Talk things through. And remember, it’s not what you said, but what they think you said that is the issue. It sometimes helps to repeat what they’ve told you in your own words, to avoid adding to the issue with miscommunication.”
“There must be openness in relationship so that either partner can feel free to talk about their feelings, emotions, and anxieties, about anything at any time. If you’re struggling to find the time, put it in the diary.”
“Lots of people suggest date nights, but remember that it might be difficult to be open and honest over dinner in a restaurant. If you’re hurt by what they say you can’t express that in public. It helps to set time aside at home. It’s not a session to run the other person down, but to explain your feelings, e.g. ‘When you did this, I wanted to do this but I felt you wouldn’t accept it,’ or ‘This always seems to happen, how can we change it?’”
“Love your husband/wife even when they don’t deserve it. None of us does all the time.”
“Respect the spouse for who they are, for the skills they’ve got, rather than constantly wanting them to be someone else.”
“Working together as a team right from the beginning. Supporting one another. Dealing with outside pressures as one. These will help to hold your marriage together.”
“Cultivate the habit of speaking kindly to each other and focusing on the positive.”
“Love isn’t simply a feeling, it involves our feelings but love is a choice, a decision, an action.”
Here are some Top phrases for couples
Written by Becky Matyus. Posted on 6th October.
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