Parlez-vous my language?
I speak with a BBC Radio 4 accent; I have a British passport and English parents but despite having been back in the UK now for the last three years, I am still confused about where I belong.
Those of us who have lived abroad for some time will be familiar with the term third-culture kid – it refers to a child who has been raised away from their home country for any length of time, settling into a foreign culture but retaining their parent’s culture in the home.
I read recently that third-culture kids who return to their homeland are more likely to have friendship issues because they feel isolated from their own peer group. Apparently they are also more prone to depression.
When third-culture kids are living abroad they tend to form friendships with those that are living in similar circumstances where one or both parents are on placement overseas. To an extent you live in a nice comfortable expat bubble, where you gain attention from being the foreign kid.
Don’t worry, he’s British
When I was living in Australia; I would do something moronic like lock my sister in the house, then set the security alarm, so that she would have to call the security services to be allowed out of her bedroom. My friends would pass off such stupidity with a comment like ‘don’t worry, he’s British’, as if all British people behave like Mr. Bean on a daily basis.
Whilst overseas I would tend to play my identity card for all to see; so I was quintessentially British wherever I went. Most would picture me whistling ‘An Englishman in New York’, with a cup of tea in one hand, whilst smoking a pipe (surely an impossible feat to do all at once!)
Re-adapting
On returning to their home country, third-culture kids are at risk of being alienated from their fellow countrymen. No longer are you the charming British kid at a party; instead you sound like everyone else around you, and you become a hybrid morph of the ‘Neighbours’ loving, Match of the Day watching, obsessive amateur weather-studying Briton. You lose your nationality uniqueness.
But despite the testing times of returning to the motherland after years living abroad, there is a confidence that you can take in re-adapting. Over time, you become a pro at cross-cultural understanding. So you can take the same positive attitude to multiculturalism within your home country; your friendship base need not be any less diverse than when you were living overseas.
A new opportunity
If you find yourself in this position, here’s my advice. Take time to familiarise yourself with your surroundings; get involved in activities that are talking point of those around you. Most importantly, don’t change who you are because you’re no longer living abroad. Treat this period as another opportunity and grab it with open hands.
Written by Ben Reynolds.
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