Family Planning
As you get older, people suddenly start asking you questions like: “When do you think you will have children?” The pressure to start a family can be huge, especially if you’re married. Most people seem quite happy to presume that: a) you are able to have children, or b) that you want to have children.
I’ve been married over a year now, and people have started asking us if we have children in mind. This got me thinking… is there a right or wrong time in life to start a family? So I did some research.
Young and Fit vs. Mature and Financially Stable
According to the experts, there are plenty of benefits to having children while you are young. For starters, younger parents of both sexes are physically fitter, and with better fertitily rates, the chances of conceiving are higher. Young parents are more likely to have lots of natural energy and resiliance to help them cope with the physcial challenges of parenthood.
But there are also benefits for those who delay parenting until they are older. Parents who choose to start a family later in life are likely to be more mature and more financially stable, with greater educational and emotional experience behind them. Sociologists claim that the ideal age for women to have a baby is 34. Studies show that mothers of this age are more likely to enjoy better health, live longer and have healthier babies.
Health risks
However, after the age of 35, the health risks to mother and baby increase and fertitily decreases quite dramatically, which is a major consideration for those who decide to wait. Although men can continue to have children a lot later than women, men over 40 experience a decline in sperm quality, which affects the rate of conception and increases the risk of miscarriage. Yet, with all these health considerations to bear in mind, hundreds of healthy babies are born to parents well over 40 every year.
While it is important to consider potential health risks when planning a family, it is also important to work out a plan that suits your own needs and circumstances, regardless of the expectations placed on you by friends and family.
Your own situation
For many people, the desire to start a family is not the issue. For many couples, the pain of infertility can be immense. You can read more about that here. For those who suffer miscarriage, the journey to parenthood can be heartbreaking. You can read one woman’s story here. And of course, there are plenty of single people who would love to have children, but their circumstances deny them the opportunity.
Some people want to have everything in place before starting a family; a good job; a nice house; X years of marriage; financial security. Other people become parents without much planning at all. Whatever the circumstances surrounding the birth of a child, there is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.
And of course, there is a lot more to being a good parent than just your age or circumstances! After careful planning, or none at all, the real work of parenting begins when the child is born. It’s fulfilling, difficult, exciting and exhausting. And everyone could do with a little help on the job! If you are a parent, or if you’re considering starting a family, remember that support is out there.
Care for the Family provides resources and support for parents of all ages and circumstances, as well as specific resources for stepfamilies, single parents and parents of children with additional needs.
Written by Lindsey Sisk. Posted on 27th August.
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