More comfortable at 30 than at 20
“How comfortable do you feel in your own skin?” we asked in a recent survey. Your responses were overwhelming. We discovered that most of you feel comfortable with who you are, and confident about life.
In fact, 84% of people rated themselves between 7 and 10 (fairly to very confident). But it hasn’t always been that way.
On average, you felt less confident about yourselves at 20. You grew a little more confident by 25, and then even more confident by 30. It seems that for most of you, growing up helped you to feel more comfortable in your own skin.
But why does this happen? We noticed three common factors in your responses. Here, in your own words, are the secrets to growing more confident as you get older.
1. Life experience shapes us
“Time and life challenges allow you to recognise that there are things that sometimes feel really big and important which are, on reflection, quite small or insignificant in the grand scheme of life. Better perspective bringing greater comfort.”
“I've become more confident through life experience, having to go through challenging circumstances (good and bad).”
“I have a more rounded view of life; more life experience allows more of who I am to come out.”
“A better awareness of what is important and significant events shaping how you feel about certain things.”
“Learned my own strengths and weaknesses - know more about what I enjoy doing and why, and what I can't stand, or have difficulty with. Experience – living and working with lots of other people of different backgrounds helped clarify my own thoughts on life and reasons why and purposes in life.”
2. We worry less about what other people think
“I care less what people think, have accepted who I am more, made peace with myself, and understood other people better.”
“I've realised how little outside stuff matters.”
“I just started to worry less about others opinions and enjoy just getting on with being me. Being too self conscious is wearing and gets in the way of enjoying life. It just takes a decade for many young adults to work that out I reckon!”
3. We learn to accept ourselves
“I now know who I am and am happy about it. I used to want to be something else.”
“At 30 I've accepted who I am. I no longer expect things to be a certain way by a certain age as I did at 20. At 25 I felt that I ought to be married, have a stable job etc by now - at 30 I accept things as they are and know anything can change at anytime regardless of age. Life might appear to present a 'standard' or an 'ideal' but these often don't reflect reality.”
“Meeting more people who like you and appreciate you for who you are, having to stand on your own two feet, and learning to accept your own flaws probably all help you to feel comfortable in your own skin!”
To read the results of the survey in full click here
Written by Becky Matyus.
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