Jumping through hoops
I hate exams, I always have. I don’t like having to jump through hoops to prove I’m a decent person.
I hate exams, I always have. I don’t like having to jump through hoops to prove I’m a decent person. From an early age we are continually told that the better we do in exams, the better we will do in life. We learn from our school reports that it is not who we are that matters, but what we achieve.
The motto of our world is ‘do well, and you will be liked’. Just once, I want to be told that it really doesn’t matter how you do in these endless tests; your self-identity, your self-worth, and the way you see yourself is far, far more important.
Just for me as me
I get a lot of self-worth from my parents. They developed in me a pride in myself, not for what I have accomplished, but just for me as me.
I am valued and I value myself. I am happy in myself. I feel free to try and I am not afraid to fail.
I am not driven to ridiculous ends in order to earn applause, and for that reason I may never be great - great in the eyes of the world that is!
I know my worth as a human being and I feel under no pressure to prove myself to the world. Too great an emphasis has been placed on success, and the world seems to have forgotten the importance of simply relating to one another and cultivating healthy relationships.
Validated
I think my validation as a man comes from those who love me. Knowing I‘m loved is extremely important to me, whether it’s by my parents, girlfriend or friends. But at the same time, I know I can’t put too much faith in the way they treat me. My girlfriend can get things wrong - she is human after all!
And although it isn’t intentional, my parents can put pressure on me to succeed and I sometimes feel that I have to do well to earn their love. Which is actually not the case. I know they love me regardless of whether I get a first or a third in my degree. But they are human, and therefore, I need to get my sense of self-worth from a source that won’t change, a source that will not ask me to prove myself.
Whatever happens in life, I know I have people around me who love me, and this gives me the confidence to try and the freedom to fail.
Written by Pete Matyus.
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