Kev Kennedy's Blog

Sex on the beach

I remember hearing a guy talk about relationships and complaining about the unrealistic “Hollywood” ideal of sex we’re all trying to live up to. I quite agree. One of the staples of Hollywood passion is a couple rolling around in the surf. Who ever thought that was a good place to get it on?

First of all, as we all know from tamer visits to the beach, a big problem is the propensity sand has to get everywhere. I can’t really imagine intrusive grit adds much to the sexual experience.

Then there are waves to contend with. If you’ve ever gone for a stroll along the beach there will come a point where you have to move swiftly when an unexpectedly big wave suddenly tries to fill your shoes with sea-water. Now imagine you’re somewhat distracted. Realistically, it would tough to keep an eye on the water level while you’re ‘busy’, and then suddenly you’re coughing and spluttering into your beloved’s face.

Trust me, coughing during sex is usually a real mood killer.

Plus there’s other hazards to contend with, like slimy seaweed, or rolling over onto a jellyfish.

So, next time, you’re wishing your sex life was a bit more like the movies, it might be worth being thankful for what you’ve got. Especially that you haven’t got sanded body parts…
 

Created on Mon 21st July 2008 14:47