Kev Kennedy's Blog

Eating the mammoth bite by bite

I was faced with a mammoth amount of washing up the other day because a) the good lady wife has been away so I haven't been nagged to do any, and b) I hate washing up so much I have to be nagged to do it.

Now, you could say, 'Kev, here's a solution, buy a dishwasher', but 1) they're environmentally unfriendly, and 2) they strip designs off mugs and I have too many original 80s Star Wars mugs to risk damaging them in a dishwasher. So, it's good old-fashioned washing by hand... but only when it absolutely has to be done.

And it had reached a point where it had to be done. You know the point - when you're eating baked beans straight from the saucepan and dipping your toast into it, toast you had to butter using your fingers because there were no knives or other spreading implements available.

So, I rolled up my sleeves and did it. But over the years of doing washign up when I don't want to I have developed a system, which I'd like to share with you.

1) Do the big things first. Get all the pans, baking trays, roasting tins, sieves, jugs, woks and other massive items washed. Wipe them up and put them away.

2) Stand back and notice how much smaller the pile of washing up looks now. Congratulate yourself on starting the job.

3) Refill the bowl and wash every single cup, mug, glass, beaker and other drinking  vessel. Dry them and put them away.

4) Stand back and notice how much more smaller the pile of washing up looks now. Congratulate yourself on continuing the job. Maybe have a break now for a quick beer.

5) Put the beer can in the recycling, refill the bowl, and wash all the plates, dishes, bowls, and other bits and bobs. Wipe them up and put them away.

6) Stand back and notice how tiny the pile of washing up looks now. Congratulate yourself on only having the cutlery to go.

7) Wash the cutlery. Wipe it up and put it away.

8) Breathe a hearty sigh of relief. Go and put your feet up. Turn on Sky Sports (or whatever) and relax. Resolve to eat off paper plates for the rest of your life. (Yes, it's environmentally unfriendly, but hey you don't have a dishwasher, do you? And you don't have to chuck them in a landfill - you can probably compost them.)

Created on Mon 6th April 2009 13:23