Vicky Biccy's Blog

Crossing the line

Did you know that every time we speak to someone else, we draw lines? We’ll share information up to a certain point, but if things get too close for comfort, we’ll change the subject or laugh it off; use anything to keep the other person from crossing the line. We keep one another at arm’s length.

Sometimes that’s a good thing – you don’t always feel like talking things out or you might have only just met the person – everyone needs boundaries. In a normal conversation, the line is drawn pretty high up. Acceptable topics include the weather, your plans for the weekend, your other half’s long shifts, or your mother’s health. But beneath the line is the stuff that really matters: What are you really looking forward to this weekend? How is your partner’s workload affecting his stress levels, and your relationship? Is your mother’s health a real concern, but you don’t know who to talk to about it, or even how to start?

If we lower the line and allow ourselves to go deeper in our conversations, we might begin to really connect with each other. Who knows, we might even get to know someone. How else are you going to find out you both love Radiohead, or why the same bit in that same movie made them cry, or that they’ve also been through that and they know what it feels like? That’s when a ‘just a chat’ becomes ‘a really good chat’. It’s the kind of conversation that makes you want to go and have another conversation about the conversation you just had. When we connect with each other in a real way, it does something with us. It makes us think, makes us pay attention to the other person, and wakes us up to the fact that we are alive.
 

Created on Thu 1st October 2009 12:38